Ups and Downs

I have updated my 30 by 30 list for those that are interested.  I think that this will  really come in handy as it gives me some purpose in life right now.  Today was one of those days that brought time to think.  There are days that I can press forward and be okay, but today was one of those days where I really struggled with the idea of being alone.  I sat in a room where I felt that everyone had someone but me.  Then, as I hear of childhood, high school, college, and other friends, and on top of that, kids I babysat announce engagements and/or the arrival of their own children, I feel that I am falling farther and farther behind in the race of life.  There are times that I even feel less "grown-up". As I continue the "fun" of online dating, I am finding that I seem to attract inactive, no picture, and over 40 year old individuals.  It's really frustrating because I feel like this is the only way I can put myself out there right now, and it's not going anywhere.  The last "relationship" still lingers as I debate about whether or not to contact him once more and share that I believe he owes it to me to bring closure to the whole situation.  So I hope that writing this gives me the added strength to push forward in this leg of my race and find the good in my present circumstance (a friend shared an exceptionally well put together post on her blog).  I hope I haven't completely bored you.  Your prayers in my behalf of finding my right one would be greatly appreciated.  I love ya'all!
On a more positive note, I have a lot to look forward to...my 30 by 30 list...summer break...a trip to see a college friend in Michigan that I haven't seen in almost 10 years....a trip with Mom to include the play Aladdin, helicopter ride, and horseback riding....a change for work....off track time....a trip to Mesquite....a trip to my favorite place all set up for Halloween (Disneyland)...paying my car off....

PS My cousin is doing a giveaway for a $25 Amazon gift card on her blog.